Thoughtful Recipe - Forgiveness: Bean soup or casserole

When a blog idea comes to me I put it on a draft and update it when the occurence comes. In this case, I had a draft dated August 2005, a long way but I am sure you will find it interesting enough. 

Forgiveness is such a big word, but what is it really? When do we actually say, we forgive? Then, I had all the ideas about forgiveness. There is forgiveness, when we are able to think of a person whom we feel have offended us without culling any negative emotions. When the feeling of resentment of anger leave our hearts and the need to extract punishment, recrimination, or restitution for a perceived wrong or offense.

A lot of things are riding in this forgiveness.  There has to be anger, pride, jealousy, and other negative feelings that can weigh us down.  Therfore, I will classify it under the darkenss category.  I am now reminded of "the Lord's Prayer", forgive us of our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespas against us, and lead us not into temptation xxx.

The sad thing is, sometimes we harbor anger and demand restittution, when the offender does not even know that they have offended us.  Just imagine that burden that the offendee is carrying, for nothing, you know that to carry such a load is destructing and makes us lose our perspective of being with Lordy.

Think about it, I propose that we get rid of all this feelings and open our arms to prepare for advent, embrace the birth of our Lord Jesus.

What a comfortable feeling to be rid of that heavy load and live life in a fully present manner. As a start, I would like to offer a recipe, comfortable for this season, this weather, and just filling in an inexepensive way.

Ingredients:

     1  bag of dried beans (soaked in water overnight)
     1  medium sized onions
     1 smoked ham hocks
     1 heart of celery (hh)
     1 carrots
     1/2 bag green peas
     1 can tomato sauce
     basil
     salt and pepper

Optional ingredients

   garlic powder
   shredded cheese
   creme fraiche or sour cream

Tools/Utensils

   slow cooker/crockpot
   Stainless Slotted Spoon 
   Mandoline Slicer

Directions

Wash the ham hocks and trim of impurities (left over hairs, etc) then place in crock pot covered with enough water. Leave on medium, the instructions will sometimes say for 3 hours, but I like to leave it on so that favors will be infused in the soup.  You can already add, some celery and carrots to add flavor.  When the ham hocks are tender and the bones can be separated from the meat, actually the meat should be almost part of the soup.  Scoop everything from the pot, remove bones from the hh and cut or shred the separated meat into bite size pieces.  If you put vegetables into the soup, you can run it through a sieve so that the juice is extracted, put the juice back in the pot.  You can also run the soup in the sieve so that you will get a clean soup. Put in onions, tomato sauce, garlic powder (optional), drained soaked-beans, start building your flavors, continue to cook until tender, put in other vegetables.

Season to taste. Serve topped with grated cheese, creme fraiche or sour cream. You can also add chopped green or regular onions. Toasted baguette or warm flour tortilla is a good accompaniment.

I'm imagining that because this is so rich, it will go well with a pino noir or a chianti.. alright it is also best enjoyed with a Diet Coke, you need to burp it out ha ha..

Notes: 

A package of ham hocks will yield more than what you need for the soup (too much, as anything else will remove the balance.) once you have boiled, deboned, and shredded the meat, you can freeze half for future use.

After adding all the ingredients you can determine if you need to add more water. The starch from the beans and other vegetables will add a thickening agent.

Who..

At a recent RCIA session, the ethicist lecturer narrated this story and instructed us to rank the characters according to the degree of gravest error, here goes:

Paul, a production manager at a manufacturing plant, called his production supervisor, Juan to his office. He told Juan that needs to set up a factory in a town across the river from the present location. They need the factory to drum up business and Juan is the only person who can do the job.  Juan is hesitant because he is planning to marry his fiance, March as soon as he is able to gather enough funds and he wouldn't want to leave her behind. Paul gave him an ultimatum that if he not set up the factory he will be fired. That being the case, Juan relented and agreed to set up the factory, he was so sad and promised to call Martha every night.  During one of his phone calls to Martha, she sensed the anguish in his heart because of utter  loneliness and she made a decision to visit him.  She however didn't have enough money, a total of $300.oo to take the bus, ferry, and bus to his location. She approached Paul flat out said no despite her pleadings.. On her way home, she mentioned her problem to the ferry owner/driver Aldo, who refused initally. Afer she asked him the second time, he agreed on one condition that she will be his sex slave for a day.  In her moment of desperation, she agreed. So she was able to see her fiancee Juan.

Juan so eagerly met her at the bus station, after showing her around town and his living quarters, they settled down. He prepared a dinner of fish stew and white wine.  As the conversation progressed, Juan asked Martha where she got the money for transportation, she was hesitant at first but with much prodding she told him everything. At that moment Juan had a mental blackout, the woman that she respected, the virtue that they were preserving until marriage was violated. He pounced her on the face and hit her so hard that she collapsed on the floor. 

He didn't even bother to see how she was, he immediately dashed out of the room and went to the local salon.  Not being a drinker, he was drank after 2  orders of cheap brandy. While drinking he was talking to a woman of the night, Magda - telling her of his tales of woe and on his last sip of his drink, he decided to buy what she is offering. He woke up in her bedroom and realized that everything has crumbled that the life that they have planned for is gone.

There is no right or wrong answer. [polldaddy poll=1575120]

Empty..

An existence without God can be empty. Branches without leaves, like being in the desert.  All of us have this hole that needs to be filled,. How we chose to fill it is up to us. Do we want to fill it with the living water of God's love?  The love that gives us contentment, inner peace. and that ability to take a rest and lift it all up to him. Or do we want to complete it with material things and worldly desires, where there is no the hole becomes a bottomless pit? There is no contentment, the desire for more is always present.

The business of sucking up to..

This image has no relation to the text, but it is too colorful that it lends
light to the post.  (I never said I'm smart ha ha)

There is  a TV drama that I so enjoy, it is "Eli Stone", the lead character, Eli was just a regular - driven attorney who will stop at nothing to win his case.  Note the "regular" term used, until he was diagnosed with aneurysm, then everything changed. He would have visions of the future, which changed his outlook in life.  Made him a total suck up to Lordy, a good - guy will all intentions of helping.

Well, we had our share of being a Lordy - kiss the you know what "no disrespect intended".  We got carried away with the desire to please God that we were so intent in helping that we almost cross the line.  Sounds weird huh!. 

At what point should we help and not take over?
Does that involve giving up part of our lives too?
What is the motivation?
Does it make us compassionate or self-absorbed?

I'm telling you even in the most compassioned moment darkness can befall unto us.  This reminds me of an instance when I was disatisfied with the way things were going on at work that I hastily left, good thing it was time for mass, which gave me an opportunity for reconciliation.  I asked the priest, why despite my close relationship with Lordy, I am feeling that way.  He said in no uncertain terms that the reason is I have detached myself from God, from living like Him. He reminded me of the Franciscan teaching that the boxed images of our childhood, the expections of others, separates us from living like Him.  But that doesn't mean that we have to be a pushover, we can still stand up for our rights and what we believe in just for the right reasons. Ovcourse cryola akitch!

Then I have friends who feel that they should remunerate others for their goodness, those who may have been negatively affected because they're smart and therefore moved ahead.  Now, if I look at the premise upstairs this can be a case of sucking up too huh.. sipsip to Lordy as the Pinoys will call it.. ha ha kidding..

And Katie Couric said that, "inner peace is overrated." Hah!

Funny, silly, crazy, and everything in between!

Do you want to cook on Friday? Says the email, of course was my response.. I was thinking, maybe I will make a pie.. I didn't have a chance too, they came laden with ingredients, for dinner and Christmas presents. See the chocolate pretzels? That's not mine, ha ha.. We were treated to ratoutuille (sp) and mulled merlot.  Absolutely delightful, the main part is the conversation, which led T sprawled on the floor with tea splashed all over.  (Sorry girl, I had to share that:).

But that's not all, we took a friend to a hotel where she is billeted for a week, she was not thrilled with the prospect -- it is something that she had to do.  That dampened our spirits -- we consoled each other with more mulled drinks..

Does that count for contemplative period during Advent?

It's Okay to Love Them!

It must be confusing indeed being born to your parents who didn't know what they want.  Without much guidance they tried to live the life that was right, but they were young and not really sure how to survive. They can only dream for a perfect life with as the center.  What they did not figure out was the possibility that because they are young, what they thought of as true love was a young love that cannot withstand the challenges of a grown up world.  Separation was the best solution, that allowed for your growth without the pain of bickering of lost love and therefore lost hope.

Now that your parents are with their adult loves and seemed happy with it, with children of their own, it must be confusing for you. Here you are, you were suppose to be the center of it all, now you are connected to two families. You probably feel left out, alone, and excluded from the equation.  But if you look at it from a different angle, you are lucky, you have your parents, step parents and two brothers, including even the relatives of your brothers, your step families. Wow, that is a big one, a whole lot who loves you. 

Did you feel it is disloyal to love your step relatives? Not at all, they are your family too and deserves your love.  No reason to withhold it from them, it is no one's fault that your parents are not together anymore. Besides what's the point of finding faults, just love them and savor the fact that you are surrounded by a lot of people who loves you..

Heartbreaks...put a brake on that hurt

My schedule, even play days, has been erratic, Saturday afternoon classes made sure of that.  That has certainly put a dent on time spent with friends; free times were spent more on catching up with laundry and other grown up stuff. Have not even had a cooking session, a movie, or the occassional St. Albert spiritual feed; on Sunday, I might.  Class is over and I missed the new one, I can ruminate of what I have missed and what Lordy wanted me to see..

Anywhoo, just like any, such a change provided  different opportunities to interact with others.  Lordy was showing me something I just need to figure it out.  You see being a member of a community, I get to share the excitement of a new day, the promise of hope, a new tomorrow.  That's the upside, the downside, I put out my shoulders, my ears are big to listen to the heartache, the failed love, the unending despair, where the end of a rainbow seems so unreachable.

I always say, that it is not His will, therefore it doesn't happen.  I know I have no clue as to how much a betrayal hurt that I am not qualified to even opine about it.  But this much I know, if a person did not think twice about dating her best friend's boyfriend then they don't really know much about what Lordy is saying in the Bible about loving thy neighbor as much as He is loved.

There is also that frustation in realizing that the woman that he loves does not fit the mould.  Therefore, the love that he thought he had is gone.  Is that really love? When he was talking about his feelings and his Christianity, I was wowed, saying to myself, that is great to find someone in the presence of God. The bubble burst and I was left with wonder; It was superficial a bad perception of how things should be.

ehhh.. What do I know?

Bit the Bullet, Spill the Milk, and other Cliches

I was going to say, no need for an explanation about my erratic blogging, but that will constitute a cliche, for why say it if it is not necessary, hah! The languange of the Queen has indeed envolved. Cliche is the subject matter of this afternoon's class. Something that is not really alien to me, since my native languange is expressed in idioms, most of the time. Examples are, "when the crow turns white" or "when the frog has hair" that means whatever is being said is impossible or as a crow is black and will always be black and the frog will never have hair.

I have been cooking, cooking well at that.  I find that the kitchen is a good place for me to unwind and because I have been haning out with another Pinoy, I have been cooking Pinoy food.  Following  the marketman does not help my cuase :).  It is really good therapy for me, I can think and figure things out while slicing and sauteing.  I will venture into baking soon..

Anyway, it's been a month since "my so called friend" divorced me. She sent me an email saying she is severing her ties with me, even my being her godmother. I laughed so hard when I read it, it so ridiculous. Ricidulous because I pictured her, coming from the clouds in a godlike manner (not using the name of the Lord in vain here) Stop loving me! and the promise that I made to God that I will be with her to honor Him will be discontinued, sort of disavowing the covenant that was presented in the altar, the very place where we worship.

Afterwhich, my human being allowed anger to seep in. I figured any relationshp is a two-way street, there should be reciprocity. As the days go by, wisdom has taken over, I realized that this person may not even know what love is, cliche-ic as it may sound.  I drew this conclusion when she said, "you have not done naything for me". I was floored, I didn't know that there is a scorecard somewhere. There are things that I live by, I don't give to repay, I don't dish out empty compliments, or I don't show false affection.  Now, if they can't see how important they are to me, then I rest my case. Nothing that I do will make it evident, for what's the point of shouting to the world, actions speak louder that words.  My affection should be felt no declarations, necessary.

I am constantly praying for her that she will find emotional maturity, that she is able to know that there are people who loves her unconditionally.  Hoping that she will learn how to do the same. 

There, I have populated this blog with so much cliche, I should get a passing mark :)

The responsibilities of my existence part 2

I jokingly made an irresponsible remark about a friend  asking what he is praying for, he goes to two Bible Studies a week, Way of the Cross on Thursdays, just prays a lot. Another friend came back with "you may as well leave him alone, you are not too bad yourself". I was silenced, alright.

I recently have occasion to review my associations and the responsibilities that come with it.  It seems that I was unknowingly placed on a pedestal, truly an uncomfortable situation.  I know I am loyal to a fault, there are secrets that I will probably take to my grave. I have relayed news of illness to family members, not mine. Announced a friend's civil wedding to avoid questions about a non-church vows. Of cancer affliction to a group of friends, just because a friend does not want the awkwardness of relaying the information. Where I draw the line is telling a friend's daughter that the father that she know is not really her biological dad. A friend's mom wanted me to point a few home truths about her daughter, my friend, that life involves work and responsibilities. TThat doesn't seem to be enough, it seems that my behavior is still not up to par.  I should run a newsletter huh! It is either I am nosey or a pushover.

I was feeling funky the past week that went on to the following week, nothing great, I felt that my being has been assulted by so many negative waves around me. I allowed myself to be affected by things said, it was during last Wednesday's Bible Study that we reading something about "being given the lips so that I will not rebel", that I was shaken out of my doldrum. 

I will never condemn, but I do react if I don't agree.  Why else was I given the ability to think to rationalize if I will just bow and kowtow to someone for fear of offending.

Their choice are theirs, the only thing I can do is opine and pray, that it is the right one that they made.

If only we will stop romanticizing things, then life will be simpler.

Anyway, this is just an attempt of figuring out not justifying. I do realize that there are responsibilities to our existence. We can't just go prancing around, trudging on life without affecting the lives of people that we touch. Now, I am careful about what I say, wait that doesn't seem to rhyme.

I would always harp about my culture, how we react differently to certain stimulis or is it stimulus. Generation it seems, is also part of the equation, the baby boomers are different from the yuppie (almost forgotten ones), the x, the y, and now we have the milleneal. Therefore, an open mind should be present at all times.

Part 1 of this post sort of made sense to this post, while we can't please everyone, there are just friendships that is right at the moment when we need it.  I have a friend that we just mutually realize that we can talk and dissect our emotions, not just a one way download. Six degrees is it?

Stirrings, longings of the heart...

Maybe, there is fear of intimacy. No, was my adamant answer. It can't be that, because I do go out, I explore the possibilities. But maybe it is my age or my culture, that I await for what God will bring the one to me.

Yes, I don't want something that is forced, something that needs a lot of analysis to continue. The need for the if, what, how, variables need to be answered. It will have to be a beatiful one, no discussions on each others characters. Beautiful that it almost feels like the Holy Spirit is upon us, then I know we have the stamp of approval. It will something not borne out of a whim but something that we both desire, forever.

JD. the now famous fungus hunter, I don't hunt for them anymore, I buy them dry. I have a jar labeled dried fungus. Yes, Virginia, it is food, mushrooms actually, not preserved Athlete's foot.:) 

Sorry, I got distracted there. Anyway, I was told that he said that when he falls in love it will be forever and that he hopes that the person he falls in love with will love him back the same way. True that things changes, but if it is that strong, it will weather everything.

I was happy when I heard that, because it verbalized what I have been carrying with me for a while, is that sheer naivete, too fairy talish.  Not if Lordy is in the picture. It is not something out of a story book, it is what Lordy wants. One can go on and on with relationships, like trying on shoes, see if it fits, if it does it stays for a while, until it gets overused or too ordinary for comfort. Then the itch for a new one has to be satisfied.

So  help me here, is this possible or is this a good theory?

You are..

You are love,
You are wisdom,
You are humility,
You are endurance,
You are rest,
You are peace,
You are joy and gladness,
You are justice and moderation,
You are all our riches,
And you suffice for us.
-Saint Francis

I lifted this (without permission) from Sarah's page, <withheld, lest I violate the unwritten>.  No explanation necessary.