Growing up..from boys to men

I can hear grunting and whining, 3 boys spending time with their mom, their routines changed, boys who suddenly can be kids again without the sheath of being grown men (boys). It is great to see them looking up at their mom with such childlike awe, each wanting their brand of affection with their mom. Then there were the conversations, some started in jokes, some serious, there were tears, but there was resolution.

The mom in turn, was fussing, nagging, always telling them what to do, hugging them and kissing them. The joys of motherhood.

To celebrate cookies, burnt offerings were concocted, it was a joyful event. Certainly worth cherishing.

Salud!

The days that I was silent..

The days were stumbling against each other, each determined to be the one that is remembered, recalled, reminisced, and talked about. The flowers are wilted, the vase water is murky, stems rotting from soaking in the water, accepting defeat, having seen glory days, it's time to retire.  Those were the Passover flowers from T's mom, she brought them on Maundy Thursday, that was a long time ago.  A lot has transpired since then, but that day will always be remembered.

I have been browsing food blogs by Pinoys and was totally enjoying them, having my daily fill of Market Man, the scent of green bananas, desert comes first, and lasang pinoy. In between that Mark was at a standstill, he waiting if his love will say yes. 

That got me distracted from the general factotom, the humdrum of life.   I was beset with these quiet anxieties coloring my days. No, nothing grave, I guess it goes back to the responsibilities of my existence.

Anyhow, there really is no point in going back and overanalyzing things.  I chose not to, I remember as a kid (prekindergarte) I used to agonize if I am going to make the right choice of finding my mom in sea of people looking like her. I was imagining that my love for her will guide me in finding her amidst the seeming clones (cloning was probably just an idea at that time).  I probably was an unloved kid to have that much drama. 

I would have talked about a friend of mine who is undergoing such trial, but I didn't want to diminish his existence into a mere read.  That's why you don't get details here, I want you just get a whiff of it, maintaining what's private and kept in it's place.

I am undergoing PT good thing the person taking care of me is nice and gentle, I wouldn't want to risk broken bones with these swollen and aching muscles. I tell you, it is a challenge to age gracefully. There is something that I noticed about life, we like to label things, people, creating a picture using our own lenses, then we are disappointed if they don't appear the way we want them to.

Of friends and friendships..

It is already 1:45 and I am still up. I slept most of the weekend, my numbers were off, lack of caffeine via diet coke, at least that's the only reason I can think of. Hah!

Somebody in the mother ship at work lost a laptop with employee data on it, mine included.  So I had to register for fraud alert with the major credit monitoring agencies.  It sounds ominous reading about lost identity. Just a couple of month's ago, a credit card used by someone to buy gas and telephone cards. Good that the card company noticed the unusual transactions.

Anyway, going back to the theme intended for this post. We have friends and we have friends, people that we love, we gravitate to because of some commonaility, making for a happy interactions. But what if these attributes does not exist or cease to exist, then we begin to find fault. What used to be cute :) or spoken of fondly becomes an annoyance.  But giving in to such behavior will create an imbalance.  But wait, Lordy wants us to love others like we love love him and it is really when it is more of an effort that we are acting according to his wishes. Okay, I better get of the wagon before I get lost in this argument, but do you think that makes sense.

Hmmm, I lost my train of thought, so with that I am closing this post..









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Friday, finally..

Yes, finally, it was a hectic week but I didn't seem to accomplish anything.  Pssst.. I succumbed to the convenience of wash and fold, although, she folded it differently and didn't use the products I gave her, now you can smell my clothes with detergent a mile away, and I'm not scratching yet.  Laundry has always been an issue with me, I never get caught up. So, I did, sorry it is a big deal for me, I never said I am profound ha ha..

Then, in those days that I was quiet, I contemplated, as I always do. Took stock of myself, like my motivation for this exercise.  I am sure it is not some kind of a megalomaniacal stirrings. Otherwise, I will be walking with head support ha ha.

Hey, I was going to talk about my week, yeah this week, it turned topsy turvy for a while there, the Regional Manager (he is new) came had a meeting with us. Before that, I met with him and a reporting dotted line functional manager. His opening salvo  was that we are going to have a fresh start, hmmm what is this all about, are we going to get re-baptized here.  It turned out that our former manager was fired from her functional role, she is a sad person and have slighted almost all of us.  He said something about work sharing, water came, I tell you. I just hate justifiying myself, I am a misnomer, as I am not aligned directly with any technology nor any tech practice, I like it that way, I have some administrative tasks but I have to be billable 72% of my time.  Nuff, it is boring me already.

 Do you notice, how sometimes we let people in our lives slip away and some we just refuse to let go. It is not that we don't have that emotional maturity, it is because we are comfortable with them.  Remember in previous posts, I talked about conversations, how we shouldn't persist. I think some of us get into this misplaced notion that conversation is measured by the amount of words we spewed out, what we have contributed to the topic. I think sometimes it is not that, sometimes listening is what conversation is all about..

Tiring weekends, leftovers, and spicy Indian food..

Yes, most of my weekend was spent cleaning and doing laundry. Adult tasks that I don't really care for. I almost wish for a previous life where I can use my weekends more productively.  Today, I woke up late, missed BYOW, good thing I went to mass yesterday, there was laundry, clearing of leftovers, and cleaning. Now my place is clean almost spotless, laundry is not yet finished, but that can wait.

Anyway, I promised myself that I will be better organized.

I said this 2 weekends ago, it is just too much, taking time out of play time and the numerous projects that I have set.

So why am I blabbering, uhmm nothing, just being nonsensical, sort of  justifying my long absence, I know, I know, you are waiting with bated breath ha ha.. such confidence.

Discovered an Indian restaurant that delivers, woohoo, that is a change but their food is spicier than most, that means I will have to chase a intake with water, not healthy at all.

On top of all the housework that I needed to do, I discovered space that I can use above the cupboard, covered by a singly plywood for aesthetic reasons. So 1 morning I decided to remove the covering and found a place for seldom used pots and pans. Double bonus, I discovered that little space between the refrigerator and the cupboard can hold the baking pans.  I can now officially declare that I am efficient packrat..

Hah!

Yoohoo, Clifford..

In my writing retreat last Saturday, in one of the exercises, we created 2 characters that of Clifford and Millie. There were givens like where they live, favorite food, etc. and we manage to come up with different personalities.  The personality created, I am guessing is a result of the personality of their creator.  If I follow that line of thinking being that the Clifford that I created has the same persona as my friend did will lead me to conclude that there is indeed a commonality that bonds people.  Anyway, that exercise was hilarious, the pictures that we painted of Cliff was amazing and this in 20 minutes.  There were even sound effects, of course the bellowing yoohoo is not mine.

That didn't end there, I was looking for a Cliff on Monday and continued to build on that person that we created.  Going back to the retreat, this is a writing retreat that I attend once a year, facilitated by an Amherst trained, nurse Franciscan nun from the twin City, she is great. Did all that description help you, dear readers get the idea that I had an enjoyable experience?

Oh well...