My Praises

I would like to praise "someone" in my world, my mother. Yes, my mother, for all the strength that she has to keep the family together. For everything that she had to go through, feeling and sharing the suffering and joys of her children. For all the lies that she said, crediting works to others to maintain harmony in the family, for the unconditional love that she bestowed on us.She is a darling -- how she calls one child and ends up calling all her children because she does not know who she really wants. How she does not know anybody's birthday.

She learned how to cook when she was already a wife and a mother but she is already ready to criticize my cooking. How she claims she doesn't know how to operate any household appliance, I think she just wants the attention. How she is supportive of our choices. How the best china are kept on display and neveer been used.

She showed me colors, how things should match and blend. She made me wear red outfits most of the time time wen when everybody was wearing pastel. A bonnet here, a fishent there, how we argue why I shouldn't wear, or the short haircut that she would make the haristylist or is it the barber, then I would pray for the miracle of a longer hair.. Oh, mother...

But most of all, she gave me or showed me confidence, that of being one's own and the knowledge that if I fall she will be there to hold my hand and blow the pain away. She doesn't know how we all feel. We don't express ourselves emotionally, but I sometimes sense from her that she does not not that feeling of unimportance because everybody's grown and have lives of our own.

I would love to..

I would love to meet someone who will complement my desires that will allow me to empty my heart and feed my soul.

The next best thing..

I chanced upon a late show one night, it was about Scott Baio who was in session with a life coach. He was trying to figure out WON he is going to propose to his girl friend and spend life with her.  It is a wonder why he is trying to get an answer, he opined that maybe he is waiting for the next best thing.

What about if its"as good as it gets". 

.. to be continued

My Praises

I would like to praise "someone" in my world, my mother. Yes, my mother, for all the strength that she has to keep the family together. For everything that she had to go through, feeling and sharing the suffering and joys of her children. For all the lies that she said, crediting works to others to maintain harmony in the family, for the unconditional love that she bestowed on us.She is a darling -- how she calls one child and ends up calling all her children because she does not know who she really wants. How she does not know anybody's birthday.

She learned how to cook when she was already a wife and a mother but she is already ready to criticize my cooking. How she claims she doesn't know how to operate any household appliance, I think she just wants the attention. How she is supportive of our choices. How the best china are kept on display and neveer been used.

She showed me colors, how things should match and blend. She made me wear red outfits most of the time time wen when everybody was wearing pastel. A bonnet here, a fishent there, how we argue why I shouldn't wear, or the short haircut that she would make the haristylist or is it the barber, then I would pray for the miracle of a longer hair.. Oh, mother...

But most of all, she gave me or showed me confidence, that of being one's own and the knowledge that if I fall she will be there to hold my hand and blow the pain away. She doesn't know how we all feel. We don't express ourselves emotionally, but I sometimes sense from her that she does not not that feeling of unimportance because everybody's grown and have lives of our own.

who? me?

 This is writing attempt in one of my writing retreats. Nothing special

The statistics would say 5'2" (there was an attempt to lie there) Asian, 110 lbs, 45 years old Filipino born and born and raised educated by the nuns and some other denomination, spent most my time learning. Have an Economics degree with Graduate studies, studied law, realizing later on that all thse are attempts to find the meaning of life. For as I always say as kid, I would like to say my name and it ends there, without the unnecessary appendation that I am my father's daughter.

Yeah, it is an escape filling the mind with all the academics, theories, and other people's experiences without delving into my own. I am always so fearful of my being hurt, my connections are always shrouded or should I say sheathed with protection. When I talked about structure it means following the rules all the time, and there are rules for everything (looks like I was the only who is so rebelliously cognizant of it). Everything passes through the critical eyes, the Catholic in me didn't help any as the Church had a way of make feel guilty all the time.

So, I said fine then, then I just won't do anything, but go to school, work, church etc. But that is not what life is meant to be lived, as I went through it, there is a gradual liberation, the evolution of self, finding contentment. Life's journey in the real sense is happening to me right now. It is the moment, pretty exciting. Being able to separate the necessary from the need, all in concert with my faith.

Whoops did I even talk about my wonderfully insane family but this is a story of my life, not theirs, he .. he. Yes, they are wonderfully insane and I love them.I had to lie, hmmm I don't follow the rules anymore, so I chose ot to put anything untrue here...

Contentment?

Last Wednesday as we were wrapping, i was browsing through the bibl

Contentment?

Last Wednesday as we were wrapping, i was browsing through the bibl