You have to take a stand..

Yes, YOU, you have to take a stand, define yourself.  You can't go on rejecting people, so that they will not have the chance of rejecting you. Grow up!!

Listening to you, observing you, gives me a sense of pity that I know you don't want or need. Shrinkage is not helping, they are just giving you want to hear.  They don't even try to question you, to challenge you! That is cruel, enabling your blindness.

It is so tiresome, you cry for acceptance, you cry that you be recognized for you, your being, your character, your soul, that you not be ignored because you don't have the face of a movie star, that you're not as important, as powerful, or as rich.  Yet I see you rejecting, not wanting to reach out to people of marginal means, to the commoner, the person who does not seem influential, who is not not as bright and light skinned as them.

Yet you cringe, you yelp in disgust at such display of favoritism or sometimes an innocent remark.  Take a stand, know yourself, don't hide in someone's history that you are not even a part of or know the full story of.

Maybe then you will be appreciated, the way you wanted to be. STOP.. hiding in other people's misery, vicariously experiencing life through others, looking at life through their lens, better yet, clean your lens and look at your life. You will be surprised at the beauty of it.

Quit the drama, get real!

Ideal day in an idyllic place...

What is an idyllic place? Going down 30th street on telegraph there is an old church structure that has been converted into medical office building.  It is a rustic building that I always imagine in a different location. Somewhere, where it is sitting on a field, pastoral setting, where I see flowers, green grass, blue sky, everything spells contentment.  That building is a home with a big kitchen, aroma of freshly baked pie wafting through the whole area, very inviting.

Does that sound idyllic?

Things I heard last night..

1. flosses everyday


2. Kite runner


3. Luke Skywalker


4. met  a movie star


5. collector


6. meta physics


7. turtle


8. awesome beaches


9. cooking


10. family


11. St. Brigitte


12. been to other continents


13. not born in California


14. children


15. love..

These and a lot more, it is amazing how in a short period of time we discover others, willing or unwilling, passive or active, reserve or open, different personalities, different styles. The willingness to know, comes the willingness to be known.  It was a great exercise, it is great to discover new friends. 

One thing that I heard but was not said was an invitation to a journey together, let's discover where it will lead us.  Let us be stronger as a group in our quest for God's love.

A post ago, I talked about individualities, the desire to be different. Now am wondering is it really a desire to be different, or one to be recognized. Hah!

The Church Library on Boden Way..

The church library on Boden way has been a witness to many a conversion in RCIA, tears shed-baring of souls in Bible Studies, intense communication with God in centering prayers, and life changing witness in 10 steps meeting.

Yesterday was the opening RCIA night, I look around, the welcoming faces of sponsors and team members, the hopeful happy ones of the inquirers. So promising, I wish them a great journey, and grateful that I will be there to witness.

Tonight, we will learn the Word in that room, discovering the Gospel for Sunday, trying to answer burning questions, pray that the grief that's causing our hearts to bleed will be taken away or that our hearts will stop bleeding, and break bread as we chatter endlessly updating each other fo what's new with our lives.

Tomorrow and the day after will be different stories, stories of life, new beginnings, stories that are heard and left there. After all just like the walls of that room, we are only a witness, a companion to someone's journey as they are in ours.

Fall fashion..

Fall fashions are out, this year women's hair will be bun from a braided ponytail, plain during the day and embellished with brooch for formal outings.  Nails are a dark burgundyish color with a trace of brown. Ahhhh.. these things does not really affect me since I have very short hair and the style is determined by my hairdresser. Am not really a follower of trends, at least I know I don't, the marketing experts will say otherwise since they have invaded my subconsious too with their media blitzes.

I am defiant, always insisting on my individuality, looking back, I do regret having subjected others to my fashion faux pas, lounging pants to work even a sundress. My dad once said to me that I was disrespectful to the house of God and an embarassment to him, going to church in faded jeans.

Defiance to my limited vocabulary was non-conformance to my professor in Macroeconomics and rebellion to my parents.  It's funny how the "self" persists no matter how much or what is fed to it, the "self" will fight for its own. The individual will always make itself known, with its quirks, even a twitch. 

Another Lordy miracle I would say, with His creation of us humans, he was able to make us alike but different from each other.  A reminder of one Bible passage that I read, about people coming from different parts, speaking different languages, but able to understand each other.

The beginning, a meeting..

I went inside the Davan Thai on Webster, swung my head to find her, we have not met before, only spoken on the phone couple of times, didn't have to look for her long, we instantly recognized each other.  I sat down and blabbed as if we have known each other for a long time.  Too bad I onlyhad  an hour break.

She had her first taste of the Catholic Church, when she raised her hands in a children's camp to volunteer to get on the van and attend mass. She had her communion, without knowing what the significance of it all. She attended Catholic school, her father is Catholic, she is married to a Catholic, she apparently has quite a number of Catholic friends.  It feels that she is being ushered slowly in the Church.  No, it was not an epiphany, it is almost a given that she will be a convert.

She had questions, which I hope I was able to answer. Questions, like:

1. Why don't I need to be baptized, if I have already been, even if it is with a different tradition?


2. Would you be offended if I told you that I partook of communion without preparation?

I said, no you don't need to be baptized if your baptism in a different Christian tradition is by immersion in water, because the Catholic Church believes in one God. one baptism, one church, and we all are being baptized to accept the same God.

It does not offend me if someone partook of communion without preparation for it, as I look at it as it having a different meaning for me as it is for someone who has no preparation.  I also believe that the pureness of one's intentions qualifies anyone into participation of our tradition.  Lordy would have understood.

What is admirable is her desire to start a family in the Catholic tradition, to be able to set an example to her children and be able to raise them Catholics. No prodding, no long winded preaching, she is just following the desires of her heart, to glorify Him and make Him a big factor of her life.

To that I say, "Amen".

The inevitable..

Must you glare at me because of my inattention. I know that I have been ignoring your presence.  But there has been other things that I have to attend to, things that are more pressing than you.

I know it is unsightly and I will even on this day of the Sabbath, pay more attention to you, consider your needs, make sure that you are my priority.

Laundry time it will be!

The narrow door..

His instructions were to strive to go in the narrow door, not try, or go in but to strive. That means a continous effort, an unwavering attempt to enter the narrow door. What does it entail, one might ask, how difficult is it.. To do good, follow His will, that's what it takes, to enter the Kingdom of God. 

The priest said that the narrow door is an illusion, it may look bleak on the outside because of the self struggle that one undergoes to go in, but once inside there is light, fulfillment and the bounty of his glory.  The wide door, on the other hand, seems easy to go in, wide open for everyone to go in, but once inside it is dark, restless, and uncomfortable.

Ultimately, the choice is ours, the narrow or the wide door, light or dark. Hopefully, the choices we make will bring us through.

Good news..

Significant events happening --

1. The papers are signed, waiting for the key, the last dishes were packed, she is on her way.  To the patio we will soon be, sipping our margaritas, admiring the new paintwork.


2. The papers are on the way for this couple, deserving a new home to start a family, we will be visiting soon, for a meeting maybe or a get together to congratulate them. They are in the same neighborhood, it will be great if they will be neighbors.


3. The house is not officially opened, in this abuela y abuelo's casa, but they have moved in this high tech house.


4. New apartment, she's moving in on Sunday, pretty pleased with her find. She is spreading her wings.


5. Engagement has been announced, they are getting married a day after my birthday, that is one event that I will always remember.


6. Studio opening, she had a showing today, still pastel images, digital photography, she has good work.  Will post her site later.


7. Rekindled love, they are rediscovering their love, with God's grace, they will re-marry.


8. An amicable custody mediation is almost in the works, we continously pray for its fruition.

These and a lot of other miracles too many to mention, prayer is indeed a powerful deed.  No further testimony is necessary.

An ode to that black hole called misery...

I am tired of hearing about you, you're heavy and mean, you're a load to carry..
you manage to take the joy away from people dear to me, you rob them of the glee of friendly encounters, steal the pleasure of basking in the glory of God,
you make them wallow in self pity, regard people who love them with distrust..

Confidence are gone, replaced by doubt. Doubt in everything, in finding happiness. Finding blame in all and are pulled down in this black hole.

Why do you have to win? Why do you have to take the upperhand in their vulnerability? If you would please flee forever and grant them the freedom from your grasp.

Let them enjoy life, have a rein in their thoughts and their lives, they deserve it. So go away and set them free.

Friday frenzy...

Tidbits: Someone described me as short woman with glasses and it stopped there.  I had to smile, that's not going to take you anywhere, that's too generic of a description.

How many women are there in a group that is short and has glasses.  What if, I was wearing contacts at the time, when the person you were describing me to saw me.  Especially sent in an email, where it does not carry the inflection of  words, that is lacking in content. I say, that the description is too politically correct.  Too flat, monotonously described.

 I won't take offense, if you say short -highlighted (men probably don't notice that) hair, brown skinned, you can even go as far as colorful:).  

Came in late last night, not from partying but from work, can't find my keys, realized I left it in the loaner-laptop-backpack.  Phooey, I hope I didn't leave any traces of me with it.  Wordpress was off line..

This morning, as I was slowly thinking of what my day is going to be, the following words came to mind, knee-jerk, confront, grace, gratitude, love, retrospect, and the rest are fuzzy ones, like laundry, cleaning, prepare for DEN, cook, farmers market, 8:50, all these you will probably read on later.  A good escape from the fuzzy ones, ha ha.

I am a foodie, as such I savor flavors, aroma, and colors  and sometimes would like to talk about it at lenght. But then, if I maintain a food journal/usually what one ate during the day, then you will a picture of what went in my intestines, and that would be too personal, eh.  Not that you care about what I injest, I know.

Hmmmm, have not received any comments of how my commas are faring.  Must be good, but people, cold indifference is not going to take me anywhere.  Engage yourself :)

Whoops, have to get ready..

Anent to the tomorrow of yesterday, which is today

Nonsense: I use to get a kick with my niece helping her figure out familial relationships, when I'd say, how can he be your dad, when he is my brother, and he is also my mother's son. Just like the title, there's a lot of ways things can be said.

Anyway, it just dawned on me, why I was blabbering about conversation and all that yesterday.  It was a rueful sense of trying to correct things, feeling that I have manipulated the conversation during our meeting instead of trying to facilitate. Hope I didn't shutdown anyone. Y'all know what am talking about.

Today was pretty overwhelming 7:00 cab ride to Amtrak, Sac at 10:45, cab to the office, meeting, bumped into Bill of TAC support, ( I am their favorite client-so many tickets) would have visited with them but just have too many things to cover.  Missed the 5:45, met with  a friend instead.  Didn't realize that I have not seen him in over a year. Ours is an undefined connection, we do say ouch when neglected. Back on the 7:45 and home at 10:00.

Twice today, I was asked how my life has progressed since they last saw me, I was so busy but things seemed so uneventful with my narratives. It did appear it was a boring existence, but I was smiling, so it must be a nevertheless fulfilling one.  Maybe Lordy's 24-hour surveillance is totally focused on me, he he, such that He has a cushion ready for my fall..

Much as I want to maintain the anonimity of this site, congratulations Theresa on the new apartment. Let me know if you need help, we will be there for you. Yes, indeed, thank you Lordy.

On a more serious note, the other day, on my way to an appointment, I was browsing through my Handbook of Prayers. There glaring at me is a guide to the examination of conscience before confession.  One would think that an aberration to the Ten Commandments would be murder, adultery, and such major offences that are also in violation of the law of the land and would therefore constitute mortal sin.  A cleansing of the conscience also covers thoughts, things that are not even exhibited externally. There are other things too, like how one carry oneself, dressing appropriately, there is a whole rigamarole (w?) on propriety, distraction at mass, being prayerful.  I have this idea though, that I should not stay away from what may be construed as corruptive, for only then will I know that I have the strength to stay away from temptation and "toe the line".

Life is better experienced with Lordy! Philosophies and theologies welcomed but not required.

Tomorrow..

Am I even spelling my title right? This word is the most challenging when I was a child, somehow I never know whether it is double r or double m. But then I am not anal about these things, I can let all these pass and not be bothered by it.  Although, some reader will be and will even call my attention about it.  (No reason for the itals, just that this opening lines is not part of my blabs).

As an aside, is re-occuring a word, isn't that a bit redundant,  how about recurring?

I was going to talk about how the stream of consciousness is different from our mind chatters or that hateful silence in a conversation awaiting for a reaction from the other preson.  The other person is already responding but is not vocalizing it.  I'd say a safe way of silencing the other is for one to be silent themseves.  Silence also creates a noncommital response therefore not offending the other but getting no resolution either.  As a child, we always assumed that silence means "yes", yippee, we just have to dart out of the room quickly, lest that silence becomes an emphatic no.

A non-wordy or one with a poor batting average is difficult conversation. Unless it is with someone where we can appreciate each other's presence, silence can be unbearable. That's when we blurt things out or just say words that don't even hold any meaning.  An old cliche "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" somehow doesn't seem to figure out in today's conversation. 

I use to have a conversation soiree that just turned into a regular get together, it seemed to appeal to only certain age groups.  It just dawned on me that the reason why blogging is so popular is because it is a one-way conversation, hah, I say my premise (there can even be none) and log off. Good bye, "you are the weakest link".

***

But the title is tomorrow, which promises to be a busy day, not that it is different from today, where menial tasks need to be attended to that takes up time and attention.  The highlight, however, is our discussion today about punishment and the reward for it, the greater enjoyment of life, the eternal love and salvation. Remember, we are on 24-hour surveillance, we can't hide.

My friend and I always say we don't want to be too Catholicky that we're cool dudettes but slowly as we mature in our beliefs, we don't mind being uncool, we would attest to our faith.  We cradlers, were just mouthing the words to Hail Mary and talk to God in our haphazard way because we know we are loved. We were more scared of the repercussion of our actions the "punishment of going to hell" than the meaning of it all. Now, as we grow, we learn to savor this relationship with God, find contentment in our hearts, learned to live his way (no, not to perfection) understanding his word, recognizing the will of the Holy Sprit, we are ready to jump up and down and sing his praises.

Will be on a train tomorrow to Sacramento, this should be a promising day. So I better get off and get ready.

Libra..

Libra -- the Harmonizer

Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious.  Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.

Got this from a friend, does that mean that we have the makings of a pushover.  Ha ha.  I sit here, unwinding, keyboarding. I ask myself, why. Certainly, not to keep a record of my life events, heck I don't even balance my checkbook, to give in to streams of consciousness, maybe.  There are times when ideas (not necessarily grand) come to me when I am walking around the lake, waiting for my turn in the supermarket, aboard a bus-when there's too much going on that to even try to read can be frustrating.  This is good practice, though, makes me aware of my commas and when to end the sentence. The familiarity here with web parts (widgets) made me breeze through share point at work not to long on a learning curve. Therefore, dear reader, I don't mind a gentle reminder about my grammatical faults.

I love beautiful words, even obsolete ones, I like to listen to them too, there are just people who have the gift of prose. I, on the other hand, have no just gift, but I like to engage people, pick on the their thoughts, get their opinions, see how their mind works.

What is pitiful is someone who is unable to express themselves for fear of being judged, not being the kewl one, and would therefore just agree on the premise of someone popular.  (Hello self, talking about you?) There are others too who likes to listen to themselves, I tend to shy away from them. 

Yes, so I decided that this blog will be my forum for all things worth pondering on, subject matters that may even be pedantic to you but if it crossed my mind and it stayed there for a bit, you will read about it.  Good, that I have forwarded this link to only two of my friends, they are kind with their words, ha ha. They are the ones who bear my sometimes nonsensical forays into disconnected ideas trying to find a conclusion in them.

So, the foodie that I am, you may see my attempts to discover new cuisines in my kitchen, a passing review of a new restaurant in the neighborhood, an interesting encounter, or just anything  about anything.  No attempt at being profound, ha ha.

Speaking of resto, there is a new Neecha Thai Cuisine on Grand, purty good, a little bit on the expensive side for lunch, but it's good, quiet, the wait staff knows when to bring the dessert or when to check if everything is alright. Not neglectful nor overly solicitous. They have respect for food too, the food is plated nicely. Not overcooked or harriedly prepared that it is not worth savoring the flavors quzzing myself as to what the blend is. The FBI (fried banana with ice cream, silly!), though, was in a small tapas plate, pretty difficult to navigate. The salad has interesting dressing, puree of sticky rice with a hint of lemon and wasabi. I would put more than a hint though, even a dash of their fish sauce. Oh well, that place is going be a favorite.

Lost in translation, Pinoy style..

http://iht.com/articles/2007/08/13/business/english.php?page=1

 This is bad, it used to be that we just joke about the literal translations, now it is an issue...

Gumising ka, kabayan!

New theme

Didn't realize that I lost some of the empty tabs that I plan on populating when I get the chance, so you will see another color here.  I would have wanted to put a little picture of Lake Merritt, but alas. I loved the color combination of that old theme..

Do you still have your "ness"?

The final post for the day, lest I forget about this thought. Yeah, I am asking myself the same question. "Ness" as that guy in the movie, "You, me and Dupree" said is that attribute that makes one special, the Karl-ness, in that case. I would say, it is the ump in our id, that gumption, that ball in our gut that makes us stand up for ourselves, our ideals, and our values. That force that doesn't allow us to slump on a chair and throw in the towel.

I guess in Catholic parlance (whoops, that sounds a little bit lawyerly, which I'm not) it is the God's grace that was granted to us as we deal with our daily routine.  He gave us that grace of confidence and the strength to rise above all with our head high, with almost nothing but our faith and He will lead us through.

Indian food and my laundry..

Coming home from brunch (that became late lunch, because of the general relaxed way they take care of things, the delicate way they prepared the crepes and my nicoise salad and finally, the confusion of our separate checks) I called a friend as she wanted to hang out, told her to go grocery shopping while I at least prepare for my work week. 

I ended up not doing my laundry but was able to tidy the kitchen, we chatted for a bit, before that I got a call from NJ (Frances, my friend's mom) telling me all these stories (good news) about another friend. She had to do a little turn around when she realized that I am not in the know, she was wondering probably WON I was dropped off the popular list.  Hah! I guess I am, an engagement is a big news and I didn't get the notice. Oh well, I guess I will still have to send my congratulatory note. But, how will I explain knowing about it.

So, back to this friend visiting, we talked about life, careers, she is frustrated about this clinic, she was outbaded (is that a word), and men.  Gee! there is all these theories about men that is being formulated and it is still getting nowhere. Got hungry, we went to this new Flavor of India on Lakeshore, not an expert on Indian cuisine, it was good, except that the lamb should have been cooked with the sauce, that way the flavors would have melded well with the meat.  That's just me and my cooking style.

We concluded our conversation still clueless! But kids, this may sound frustrated but we oldies are happy with our lives, set in our ways, my closing salvo will be "Don't forget to fall in love." and if you are one of those who has decided that you want children, there is a very small window of time in doing that. A time, when it is enjoyable and fulfilling.

We toyed with the idea of the what would have, had we, and still came with the conclusion that we will be just as what we are now.  Is it Divine Providence? Yes, like the sermon this morning said, listen to God's will, more than our own, right? And listen, we did :)

Oh, the laundry didn't get done! and I am just going to tidy up the bedroom.  This blog business can be addictive once you get into it.

Dogs

Dogs are one spoiled breed, their owners talk to them, cooing, take care of them, walk them around the park. Their owners walk alert, prepared, ready to collect and dispose.

Elegy to Nanay Linda

You trudged life with such energy and vigor that one wonders where you get it from. You successfully reared 12 children in this world and still have room for a few.  The grandchildren, children's friends, or that lonely child whose parents don't have time to nurture and love.

Your deep faith in God is what helped you through life, you often say. How your children respected you, loved you, and helped you provide for the family. You never doubted that He will always be there for you, to give you strength and help you through. You may not be the softie one, but you always have the heart to give, I will miss you!

It is an honor to know you. I hope to see you in heaven. :)

Generalizations..

I always get in trouble when I generalize, no I don't make sweeping statements, just base my conclusions on a few facts. I am reminded of my symbolic logic course in college, where the syllogisms go like this:

Latin men are macho
Ricardo is a Latin man
Therefore, he is macho

 My friend can't take this, she is saying what about their individuality and their own person.  I would retort, but how will you understand someone from a different culture, a culture that you know nothing about, if you don't take into account what you read about them.

And I would respond, yes, that makes up for it too, like in my case, I am not defined by my culture or the color of my skin.

So, I was pretty happy with that, even sent her Merriam webster's definition of macho, thinking okay that is a pretty good position.  Until we were chatting with the owner of this restaurant.  He said to my friend if she has been there before as she looks familiar. Then he turned to me and asked if I from the Philippines, I said yes, he said he recognized the accent, having worked with a lot of Filipinos.  I said jokingly, "yeah, we are a fine group, eh".  I am not sure if I am offended by the generalizations about my accent, the defensive rising, why you do have an accent too, what's wrong with mine.

I was floored, my rationale being thrown back at my face. But can we really get away from such things, there is always pre-conceived ideas about things, good or bad.  We base our opinons on past experiences, our thoughts, our encounters, even experiences by others.  We can only be in a situation with an open mind, fairness in our judgments as the Bible want as to be, but traditions and cultures certainly will creep in.

Now, I promise not to make such generalizations, I didn't know it can pinch one's heart or is it pride.

Discern what God's spirit wants..

The gospel today, talks about division, division from son from his father, his father from his son, the daughter from her mother, her mother from her daughter, and so on.  At first brush one wonders, why would the Bible say that?

The priest in his Homily said that we should allow God's will to rule over our own will.  That we should be able to discern what it is that God wants us to do.

The Veritable List

I had one sign-up for RCIA sponsorship, a good one, considering the first meeting is already the end of the month, they should have discerned, what they want to participate in.

I had brunch with friends at the Cote d' Or good food, slow service. This is a place to lounge, savor food, and enjoy the company.  Anyway, of course the conversation led to men, what they can be, jealous as "H" if their territory is theatened.  The threat can be real or imagined, mind you.

So, here's the list of common observations about men:

1. He is a Catholic, but he does not go to church.


2. He drinks. (He is Catholic, isn't he?)


3. He can be incommunicado for a while and just creep out of the woodwork and expect you to be available.

Now, here is a list of how he should be:

1. He should believe in God and practice his beliefs the way or more than I do.


2. Everything follows naturally after that, I would say, respectful, trusting, trustworthy, etc.

A friend, who is like a second mom to me said:

1. He should love you as you love him


2. Enjoy life.


3. Stay away from the superficialness of this material world :)


4. Live, love, and enjoy.

Pretty simple lists, don't you think?

Today

Yesterday will have to be given some attention first before we get to today, hah! It was a well spent day, I had an RCIA team meeting in the morning and then off to Berkeley with a friend shopping for her students.  I was looking for journals for the candidates and their sponsor and as a side goal find an inexpensive nesting mixing bowls, I will try to establish a relationship with that kitchen monstrosity called the oven. Oh! I got a little printer too, a combo unit, that should give me more space, once I get rid of the scanner.

Thai lunch and a movie was our reward for the day's exercise. We saw "Once", good, light, deep, yet doesn't take the viewer into this relentless pursuit that oftentimes lead into an endless physical encounter.  There is a little comedic take too. No, I am not giving the story away, watch it and let me know what you thunk!

Hmmm, I should be getting ready for church, at the end of the mass we will be manning the RCIA table entertaining those interested in joining RCIA.  It is a momentous experience to be a part of this team.  Imagine, parcipating in someone's journey to conversion, knowing God, holding their hand as they learn the Catholic faith, truly awesome.

A game in a different tune..

At yesterday's meeting, part of the team building process was to answer questions from a card that we picked (eyes astray from the pile), I picked the following questions:

1. If money was no object how would you have a party? I said, well I will probably serve finer food, but not the best like, caviar ($1,000 a tin can), foie gras, the best wine, the best of everything, but it will be same get together and at the same place. My rationale being, we will enjoy the good food and our cholesterol levels will shoot up, and then what, we wouldn't experience the joy and camaraderie of friendship, as our focus will be on the food. I wouldn't even dare think of going to the expensive locations for it is cold in those palatial locations. Too much space between rooms, too much distance from each other, nah, it's not going to work.


2. Another question was, if you can be someone else for 30 days, who will it be? Everybody seemed to think that they can't be someone else. I opined if it is for a moment, sure, I would like to experience that exhilirating feeling of winning the lottery. Note that it is only for a moment, though, because after that, that realization will sink in, and all other emotions will follow, seven deadly sins?Someone said, I would like to be contemplative ala Dalai Lama without the responsibilities, perhaps.Another, very intuitively indicated that if he does not have to worry about bills, he would like to go to a Third World country and experience the challenges and perhaps help alleviate the hardship of life.  Good, that I was able to check myself and bit a reply that he does not need to travel far to do that, I can tell him how it was. I have seen it, it is hard it seemed, but I saw happy faces despite of hunger, I saw toothless smiles without the running water to even take a bath. I saw God's grace in it all.

My Oakland

I just  love Oakland, rich in culture, it has the blend of San Francisco and Berkeley, Walking downtown is such a treat. One's senses is assaulted by the mouth watering aroma a plethora of a growing fusion of cuisines. On the one hand, the stench of neglect, marginal existence, and an existence pounded by the challenge of substance abuse, the acceptance of defeat is evident.

The old buildings with traces of its past glory, the new owners attempting to regain its lost grandeur. The new ones staking a claim on this territory. 

One hears stories of personal histories of long-time residents of this once-rich town. A contrast indeed but a rich one, where people can co-exist and appreciate the beauty and splendor of this place, My Oakland.

Oakland is home to people of different backgrounds - cultural, ethnicity, economic, spiritual, and moral and political beliefs.

The ducks in Lake Merritt

Quack, quack, the ducks are afrenzy, roaming around, sniffing, dropping their excess baggage oblivious of where it lands, creating a landmine-like path. I had to be careful of my steps lest I dirty my shoes. 

Can we humans be like that? Drop it anywhere, unmindful of where it lands, just move on, don't even look back.

Oh to be a duck..

Don't forget to breath

I was taken aback, when my dentist told me not to forget to breath.  I thought that was basic, why would I do that.  Indeed it happened, I did suspend my breathing awaiting for him to complete his task, what with my mouth wide open and he was poking, finding the right spot for the needle to land.  I had to tell myself to breath and let him finish his task.

That gave me a glimpse of how I sometimes deal with life, with abated breath, I wait for the big bang, the poke, a slam on the face.  I wonder now, wouldn't it be better if I just continue breathing take what is handed down to me.  Trust that God will provide. 

Faith is the subject matter of the Gospel on Sunday, that obedience, that belief in the Divine Providence.  We only need to do our roles and He will take care of the rest.

Contradictions

I was imagining a familiar taste from childhood, comfort food, but then I experimented thinking that a combination might be better.  The color is flat, flavor is equally flat.  There is nothing contradictory about it. None of the stuff that wakes up the senses. A little boring I would say, everything is in agreement, everything is bland, flat.   Life can be like, no challenge, no inspiration, just a flat meaningless existence.  But that is certainly up to us, do we want to put a little salt, cumin perhaps?  Now, I am reminded of that Biblical verse that says something about us being like salt, once the saltiness is gone, then we are nothing, or words to that effect.

 

Vanity..

Everything is meaningless, says Ecclesiastes in the first reading.  No amount of money, material gain, fame, beauty can be equated to an inner peace that we all seek.

Indeed, it is vanity that makes us desire that shiny leather purse in the store window, it is vanity that makes us work harder to make more money for that desirable address, that beautiful car, that fancy restaurant, that vacation house in the Pacific, all that luxury.

Lost friends

There was a message in my inbox that I allowed to sit for more than a week before I responded to it.  It was from someone I knew, I thought he was a friend, but he changed everything.  In his message, he referred to me as a lost friend. I was nonplussed, I was not lost at all, how can I be lost, when he didn't even look for me.

I know, I know, relationship changes, priorities, life moves on.  The purpose has been served, so off he goes. I have this concept, though that life is like a suitcase, you take everything with you, sure, the load becomes heavy, cluttered, unorganized, then we learn to fold things away, set aside, not necessary lose them or unload them. 

I cherish my past, good or bad, I learned from it all, made me stronger and hopefully a better person from when I was.  I hang on to them, the memories of a joyful past, the pains of a cruel encounter, the sting of a tongue lash, not to savor but to remember. Making certain that it remains a memory, not be relived nor repeated.