Monday, April 24, 2006

who? me?

 This is writing attempt in one of my writing retreats. Nothing special

The statistics would say 5'2" (there was an attempt to lie there) Asian, 110 lbs, 45 years old Filipino born and born and raised educated by the nuns and some other denomination, spent most my time learning. Have an Economics degree with Graduate studies, studied law, realizing later on that all thse are attempts to find the meaning of life. For as I always say as kid, I would like to say my name and it ends there, without the unnecessary appendation that I am my father's daughter.

Yeah, it is an escape filling the mind with all the academics, theories, and other people's experiences without delving into my own. I am always so fearful of my being hurt, my connections are always shrouded or should I say sheathed with protection. When I talked about structure it means following the rules all the time, and there are rules for everything (looks like I was the only who is so rebelliously cognizant of it). Everything passes through the critical eyes, the Catholic in me didn't help any as the Church had a way of make feel guilty all the time.

So, I said fine then, then I just won't do anything, but go to school, work, church etc. But that is not what life is meant to be lived, as I went through it, there is a gradual liberation, the evolution of self, finding contentment. Life's journey in the real sense is happening to me right now. It is the moment, pretty exciting. Being able to separate the necessary from the need, all in concert with my faith.

Whoops did I even talk about my wonderfully insane family but this is a story of my life, not theirs, he .. he. Yes, they are wonderfully insane and I love them.I had to lie, hmmm I don't follow the rules anymore, so I chose ot to put anything untrue here...

No comments: