Questions..

Hmmm.. it s was pretty unnerving to realize that there is another side of the coin that we have to ponder..for example a gay person struggling with his faith is hindered because he is in a relationship with another guy. The powers of the church deemed it against the faith that it is not the kind of life that God wanted. My question is who are we to decide what should and shouldn't be..

I understand that living the life with God is an all straight life, but there are societal changes that has to be factored in our existence.

Thanksgiving.. before and after

Thanksgiving day was spent in contemplation, no, I cried over lifetime movies. I attended the Mass first, though, Father Seamus was an undercover. Anyway, let's not talk about the nonsensical stuff. Let me delve on faith, mine and others. Why do people have to decide on whether or not they accept faith in their lives. It is not they don't believe that Jesus exists, it seems that the uncertainty lies in their accepting God in their lives.

No, I don't think that people are prideful such that they have the gall to reject God, the God who died for mankind so that We can be saved. (So, why I am crying about this realization?) Am I one of them? Have I accepted the tradition, but have withheld the love that He is asking us?

Anyway, I am digressing, oh people, I don't know why but I am crying here sobbing my brains out! My premise my not be presented intellectually but we are denying feeling his presence in our lives not his existence.

I would like to understand all of these, so here I am trying to put things in perspective. First of all, I think we human beings are great at setting such high standards for ourselves, such that we feel we don't deserve such love from God. See, we read the lives of the Saints, and think we can be like them. The thing is, we don't realize that we can never be, we are humans and therefore liable to commit sins.

I think we are misinterpreting the dictum that we should live in the likenss of God. I say that because we live in this world, the present time where there is temptation everywhere and to isolate ourselves from that environment will mean living in a bubble. Staying away from the devil is different from fighting the devil head on, using the greatest tool, God's love.

And how do we deal with all these, knowing that contentment, that inner peace lies in our faith.

It was an early day for me, as I had to leave for the airport for 10:30 flight to Dulles. The recent mishaps in the London airport have put everything in about flying in a frenzy. Notices about carrying liquid or items of gel-like consistency will have to be removed from the carry on luggages as a precautionary measure. Of course, I was thinking already of how I was going to survive the flight without my hand cream, nothing special just the Neutrogena hand cream, originally formulated for the fishermen in Wales. So I got in uneventfully, picked up food items, they don't feed you on the plane these days, you have to pay for it. What you get is only a small bag of pretzels and drinks.

Slept most of the way, chatted with Michelle, she used to leave in the Bay area moved to Virginia and is planning to go back to California. The stop to Denver was likewise uneventful, we landed to Dulles 5 minutes early, big deal right? Here is where the fun started, I don't normally go for details and I have always thought that I will be staying in the Marriott, maybe because we always book people in the Marriott in downtown Oakland whatever. I went to the Marriott and firmly requested for them to look for my reservation in any of their property in the area. What a shame when I called a member of our group and found that I am billeted at the Hilton Suites, oh well. So tired and hungry and went for room service and imagine my consternation and I got a 48 dollar bill for a twin crabcake and rice.

So the following morning is the first day of training, i found it a little odd that somebody from the office has to pick us up and because there is more than 5 of us, Maxine had to take 2 trips.. I said, well the hotel shuttle can take us to the office, am sure of that. I guess that prompted Janie to ask me if I am familiar with the city stuff and all that, i said well I am near San Francisco, so I yes

ganun!

Live.. love

Live, yes not the breathing, existing kind of life but the type where I can exhale, smile and feel good about it.Finding that niche that says I have arrived. So what aif there are contradictions about my life, my being, it's time to seize the moment, the barriers will be there, but I just have to move around it.

My brother use to tell me claim it sister, He gave it to you, seize it.Live, live I bet up

Crab Mold Recipe

This is a recipe created by Julie and is always the best seller in our church events, so here goes..

8 oz Irish Crab
8 oz cream cheese
1 cup mayo
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 cup chopped celery
1 bunch chopped onions
1 pkg gelatin

Have cream cheese at room temperature. Beat soup, mayo, cream cheese. Follow directions on gelatin pkg. Add to mixture. Add crab and veggies and mix well.

Pour into mold and refrigerate.

Enjoy

My Praises

I would like to praise "someone" in my world, my mother. Yes, my mother, for all the strength that she has to keep the family together. For everything that she had to go through, feeling and sharing the suffering and joys of her children. For all the lies that she said, crediting works to others to maintain harmony in the family, for the unconditional love that she bestowed on us.She is a darling -- how she calls one child and ends up calling all her children because she does not know who she really wants. How she does not know anybody's birthday.

She learned how to cook when she was already a wife and a mother but she is already ready to criticize my cooking. How she claims she doesn't know how to operate any household appliance, I think she just wants the attention. How she is supportive of our choices. How the best china are kept on display and neveer been used.

She showed me colors, how things should match and blend. She made me wear red outfits most of the time time wen when everybody was wearing pastel. A bonnet here, a fishent there, how we argue why I shouldn't wear, or the short haircut that she would make the haristylist or is it the barber, then I would pray for the miracle of a longer hair.. Oh, mother...

But most of all, she gave me or showed me confidence, that of being one's own and the knowledge that if I fall she will be there to hold my hand and blow the pain away. She doesn't know how we all feel. We don't express ourselves emotionally, but I sometimes sense from her that she does not not that feeling of unimportance because everybody's grown and have lives of our own.

I would love to..

I would love to meet someone who will complement my desires that will allow me to empty my heart and feed my soul.

The next best thing..

I chanced upon a late show one night, it was about Scott Baio who was in session with a life coach. He was trying to figure out WON he is going to propose to his girl friend and spend life with her.  It is a wonder why he is trying to get an answer, he opined that maybe he is waiting for the next best thing.

What about if its"as good as it gets". 

.. to be continued

My Praises

I would like to praise "someone" in my world, my mother. Yes, my mother, for all the strength that she has to keep the family together. For everything that she had to go through, feeling and sharing the suffering and joys of her children. For all the lies that she said, crediting works to others to maintain harmony in the family, for the unconditional love that she bestowed on us.She is a darling -- how she calls one child and ends up calling all her children because she does not know who she really wants. How she does not know anybody's birthday.

She learned how to cook when she was already a wife and a mother but she is already ready to criticize my cooking. How she claims she doesn't know how to operate any household appliance, I think she just wants the attention. How she is supportive of our choices. How the best china are kept on display and neveer been used.

She showed me colors, how things should match and blend. She made me wear red outfits most of the time time wen when everybody was wearing pastel. A bonnet here, a fishent there, how we argue why I shouldn't wear, or the short haircut that she would make the haristylist or is it the barber, then I would pray for the miracle of a longer hair.. Oh, mother...

But most of all, she gave me or showed me confidence, that of being one's own and the knowledge that if I fall she will be there to hold my hand and blow the pain away. She doesn't know how we all feel. We don't express ourselves emotionally, but I sometimes sense from her that she does not not that feeling of unimportance because everybody's grown and have lives of our own.

who? me?

 This is writing attempt in one of my writing retreats. Nothing special

The statistics would say 5'2" (there was an attempt to lie there) Asian, 110 lbs, 45 years old Filipino born and born and raised educated by the nuns and some other denomination, spent most my time learning. Have an Economics degree with Graduate studies, studied law, realizing later on that all thse are attempts to find the meaning of life. For as I always say as kid, I would like to say my name and it ends there, without the unnecessary appendation that I am my father's daughter.

Yeah, it is an escape filling the mind with all the academics, theories, and other people's experiences without delving into my own. I am always so fearful of my being hurt, my connections are always shrouded or should I say sheathed with protection. When I talked about structure it means following the rules all the time, and there are rules for everything (looks like I was the only who is so rebelliously cognizant of it). Everything passes through the critical eyes, the Catholic in me didn't help any as the Church had a way of make feel guilty all the time.

So, I said fine then, then I just won't do anything, but go to school, work, church etc. But that is not what life is meant to be lived, as I went through it, there is a gradual liberation, the evolution of self, finding contentment. Life's journey in the real sense is happening to me right now. It is the moment, pretty exciting. Being able to separate the necessary from the need, all in concert with my faith.

Whoops did I even talk about my wonderfully insane family but this is a story of my life, not theirs, he .. he. Yes, they are wonderfully insane and I love them.I had to lie, hmmm I don't follow the rules anymore, so I chose ot to put anything untrue here...

Contentment?

Last Wednesday as we were wrapping, i was browsing through the bibl

Contentment?

Last Wednesday as we were wrapping, i was browsing through the bibl