Faith interrupted..

I have been so busy with work these past weeks or has it been months, project after project, I am never really able to dwell on things, questions unanswered burning in my head.  What I managed to do was separate my questions from affecting my faith that would have caused it to erode into an unbelievable pit of darkness.

Being a recipient of unexpected meanness, unexpected in the sense that the person dispensing it should be dispensing something more soulful than that.  Words uttered that is embarassing to be repeated even to vent about. I accepted and with head vowed tried to recall that humility is a value that we learned and try to practice as a good human being, as children of God.  But I will be pretentious if I say that I wasn't affected, that I wasn't hurt, so I stayed away glad that I am so preoccupied to be eaten by anger causing me to hate.

It is a gift of grace that I have embraced. A friend was not so lucky, for she was a witness to a failed test. A test of ruined relationships, battered emotions, her faith in God is intact but it will take her a long time to go back and find a church, a community where she can be in fellowship with, a fellowship with open heart. She understood that it is a fact of being human, falling and failing, that it is not for her to judge, it is between the person and God. The difficulty arises when we put someone in a pedestal and decide that being elevated to that level will make them saints and will do no wrong. It is a flawed thought, for why else do we go to such lenghts of proving that a person is saint after death. When they can err no more.