Food for thought

"One of the reasons so many singles are dissatisfied is that they're looking for a change in status to define their significance, rather than finding a purpose in life, granted by God, that gives them significance regardless of the status they're in."

Courtesy of Touching the Soul

In reverence...

There will always be people whom we revere and relegate not necessarily in a pedestal maybe on  a higher plain.  The religious leaders for one, I can't remember the legal parlance, nor the reason for it. But I suspect  that having taken that vocation of ministering to our souls is certainly something noble.

In my efforts in deepening my faith, I have met quite a few nuns, priests, ministers, and the like and I must say that I have not outgrown that manner with which we defer to them.  I do have a shoolmate in high school who is now a priest in Denmark whom I have communicated with, a brilliant lawyer when I used to work for a bank in the Philippines who decided to give up everything and joined the monastery. There was a diocesan priest when I was a child who was so fond of me that I would receive religious icons as presents to the envy of my classmates.

At a conference that I recently attended, one of the speakers is Fr. Stan, in the picture, he is rare in his desire to reach out. He is one cool priest, the type that one can jam with and still minister to one's soul.  One kewl priest indeed.

Anent to a friendship post

On my responsibilities of my being post, I quoted a chain email about friendships, the kind that fills a hole in our beings. Someone to cry with, to reason with, to celebrate, and a host of other reasons that make our lives complete.  I have a friend whom I would meet for dinner to sort out our feelings and talk about things, sometimes so deep that it almost touches our gut.  We analyze and make sense of how we feel. Then we come out laughing not necessarily able to resolve what torments us but find a rationale for it.

During the passover dinner, one guest, a Jesuit brother, commented about my seeming silence. Little did he know that I am a blabbler mouth, but with him and the Nobles, I felt I should be in my best behavior, I do try :).  Conversation led to the Myers - Briggs personality types. I can't remember mine, but posing some scenarios, they readily concluded that I am an introvert and some other letters that I will never remember. It's funny that when I am with friends and there is not much conversation flowing, I would always think that we are feeling each other's presence. No conversation is necessary, we are comforted by that silence, not an awkward silence, where one does not know what to say.  Hah, it is just our personalities exhibiting itself, nothing profound.

But today or was it last night, I saw someone online, I hit him, begrudgingly asking if he got my text message greeting him happy birthday and why he hasn't responded. He was a blast from the past really, he was my love from days of old. He responded, he is good considering he just got out of brain surgery. I said, "you're kidding, right?" and continued to ask him what he did for his birthday. It was devastating to know that indeed he just had a brain surgery, from an undetected brain tumor. His officemate having informed his brother that he has been having headache episodes at work. He sounded like his old self, not even worried about it, he just had to make the best of his odds he said. The odd being he has a year or so live. So sad, I didn't know what to say... He is a faithful Catholic, I know he draws his strength from Lordy, but... I am still sad.. say a prayer for him, please..

Post Lent, Easter meanderings..

During the Holy Week, I was in a bit of a funk. My arm is bothering me and the cortizone shot didn't fix it.  Being in physical pain, of course didn't help my disposition. I was overly sensitive, morose at most.  So when a friend asked if I disclosed something that she told me, I was taken aback. What that translates to, for me, is she doesn't trust me, that I am such a blabbermouth. Of course, I didn't, now if it were good news or something else I will be the first one to announce to the world, even blog about it, ha ha.

So I carried that pinch in my heart for a long time (and you think I don't have drama) with the pain in my arm, until I felt Lordy hitting me in the head. I almost heard Him say to me, How dare you, expect trust from another human being, when sometimes your trust in me wavers.

Okaaay, that was an instant attitude correction. I needed that when I feel I am strong and confident about what I can, I forget, that it is nothing be Lordy's, not mine, there I am good, hoping to be better.

On another note, I had my first experience of a Passover meal, a "Noble" tradition, that I am so honored to share. Truly amazing, to break bread with them in a holy way. Wowww..

Then during the Easter Vigil, we ushered the new members of the church through Baptism. I am a sponsor to Pam, we journeyed through 6 months of RCIA and there they were drenched in oil, a very moving experience.  Friend T was also confirmed.  During the ceremony, our Pastor,   in his homily said that it is time to forget about arrogance, our self absorptions and be peaceful and love one another, or something of that effect, I was hit again in the jugular.  It was indeed a momentous event, the Holy Spirit was upon us.  To top it all, I renewed my own baptism with people who are dear to me, who has been with me in my renewal of faith. When I rediscovered Lordy.

Ahhhh such a great feeling.

Heralding Easter with Mousakka

mousakkaOriginally uploaded by penoybalut

I was planning on cooking something special for the passover meal mentioned in the last post, moussaka. I never got to because I had to clean, I am perineally cleaning or worrying about my laundry, if you haven't noticed. How profound can that be? So I finally made it on Holy Saturday, boy am I proud of myself, I was able to follow a recipe to the letter, such that I had to go out and get some cloves. And the recipe calls for only a teaspoon of it.

This recipe compliance is inspired by the mostly pinoy food blogs that I have been foraying, since I discovered this wonderful outlet,  ha ha, you can see that half of my blogroll is mostly on food.

Anyway, it came out purty good.. the photos may not have done it justice but it was well worth creating havoc in my kitchen.

SanMig in TJs

Woohoo.. San Miguel beer is sold at Trader Joe's.  Not that I care for beer, but this is a product of the Philippines and has the greatest market share in the Philippines and perhaps greater part of Asia. 

Yeah, I never acquired the taste for beer, it is bitter, can't understand the refreshing taste that some folks associate this drink with. I remember hanging out in my younger days in the Philippines and the gang would go for the happy hour where the price of beer would be discounted to so much such that they would buy it to about 3 or so per person and I would stick to margarita. That is one glass to their 3 :).

I had my first sip at  a young age, my dad's style in better days, is let us figure out if we like it, now, what child would like the taste of beer? Even our dog didn't.

Seriously though, try it, they say it it's good. There was a beer bar in the Philippines that sells all kinds of beers from all over the world and I still went for Coke.  Boring...

Random thoughts on Maundy Thursday..

Took the day off today, figured I should get an early start hear Mass, clean, and meditate.  My mother's voice ringing in my ears from days of the past. You should fast, be quiet, God is suffering today.  This is when my best friend would spend the Holy Week with us, we were learning to smoke and looking at the mirror doing the frenchie smoke and making round shapes of smokes that we exhale.  What were we thinking?

Anyway, Wordpress news :0, Patrick whoever he is would like to buy jeepney in the Philippines,

he doesn't like driving in PI.

There is a guy in Perth who will auction off his life, house, car, job, friends, etc. he is so distraught being separated from his wife of 5 years and 8 years of engagement. That's one way of dealing with life.

The author of the book "Tell me where it hurts", had a dog patient who is almost hermaphrodite which is a result of cancer creating a hormone that enhances the female reproductive system.

There is someone in Texas trying to create a 7-list of food on Thursday.

My arm hurts like it's draining the living daylights out of me. That's what I get for cradling the pain, instead of moving it around.

So many things going around each second, I can almost hear it buzzing, lives webbing their own, different from mine. I don't think I would like to live someone else's. I can gape, appreciate, and imagine their tales of joy, live it vicariously. But not actually live it. I love my life, it is mine.

Honor system..

I had lunch was it last week at a Thai Restaurant, the owner came up to me and we chatted a little, I forgot to bring something to read. I was gingerly eating my pad thai, removing the cooked bean sprouts, thinking I had to stop at a drugstore to get real polish remover. I was in that state and after I ate,  I just walked away without paying. I realized my folly, when I was at the drugstore and I still have unchanged bills.

 Quack, hmmm so I called, apoligized and said I will just drop it off the following day. I didn't end up going back, instead I just called and gave him a charge number.

My favorite chinese restaurant has my ATM number so that he can just the food that I order, when I am in a hurry to stop, such that he would just be outside his resto and hand me my order. This doesn't work all the time, as once he gave my food to my hairdresser.

Am I in some province or what? I have de-urbanize Oakland. Yeah, I feel that Oakland is smalltown USA, to which I friend outrightly corrected me, it is a big city alright.

Oh well.. There is really nothing new about my posts, but to be a better writer I have to regularly translate my thoughts in writing.  I did say I am going to be a writer when I grow up..

Magandang gabi po!

What you eat..

I had lunch with the boys at work in the Oakland Seafood Market, it was somebody's birthday, we had to have noodles.  Although, they don't have that belief in their culture, we figured he might as well.  Noodles for long life eh!

So, I was reading the menu, frogs, snails, intestines, etc. one mentioned that he used to like it when he was younger, but he is starting to think about what he eats. I joked that he is getting to be too westernized, what's wrong with those. He said, yeah there can't be anything wrong with that God made and gave us those to enjoy.

Speaking of food, while waiting for at the doctor's office, I was reading my prayer book, there is a section on How to be a better Catholic, and it is talking about fasting at least once a week, and something about abstaining from certain foods.  I remember when I was younger, I kept saying it is not really the food that the abstinence from mean refers to but the call of the flesh.  My argument didn't go very far.

This is not an attempt to diminish the practice, I recognize the need for self denial to establish a deeper appreciation of our faith, a full stomach,  a threat to our carotid glands will certainly distract us from our efforts to be closer to God.

 At dinner last night, I agreed that sometimes we tend to over think our faith. It shouldn't be, feel it, practice it, and enjoy.

Oh, well..

The responsibilities of my existence part 2

I jokingly made an irresponsible remark about a friend  asking what he is praying for, he goes to two Bible Studies a week, Way of the Cross on Thursdays, just prays a lot. Another friend came back with "you may as well leave him alone, you are not too bad yourself". I was silenced, alright.

I recently have occasion to review my associations and the responsibilities that come with it.  It seems that I was unknowingly placed on a pedestal, truly an uncomfortable situation.  I know I am loyal to a fault, there are secrets that I will probably take to my grave. I have relayed news of illness to family members, not mine. Announced a friend's civil wedding to avoid questions about a non-church vows. Of cancer affliction to a group of friends, just because a friend does not want the awkwardness of relaying the information. Where I draw the line is telling a friend's daughter that the father that she know is not really her biological dad. A friend's mom wanted me to point a few home truths about her daughter, my friend, that life involves work and responsibilities. TThat doesn't seem to be enough, it seems that my behavior is still not up to par.  I should run a newsletter huh! It is either I am nosey or a pushover.

I was feeling funky the past week that went on to the following week, nothing great, I felt that my being has been assulted by so many negative waves around me. I allowed myself to be affected by things said, it was during last Wednesday's Bible Study that we reading something about "being given the lips so that I will not rebel", that I was shaken out of my doldrum. 

I will never condemn, but I do react if I don't agree.  Why else was I given the ability to think to rationalize if I will just bow and kowtow to someone for fear of offending.

Their choice are theirs, the only thing I can do is opine and pray, that it is the right one that they made.

If only we will stop romanticizing things, then life will be simpler.

Anyway, this is just an attempt of figuring out not justifying. I do realize that there are responsibilities to our existence. We can't just go prancing around, trudging on life without affecting the lives of people that we touch. Now, I am careful about what I say, wait that doesn't seem to rhyme.

I would always harp about my culture, how we react differently to certain stimulis or is it stimulus. Generation it seems, is also part of the equation, the baby boomers are different from the yuppie (almost forgotten ones), the x, the y, and now we have the milleneal. Therefore, an open mind should be present at all times.

Part 1 of this post sort of made sense to this post, while we can't please everyone, there are just friendships that is right at the moment when we need it.  I have a friend that we just mutually realize that we can talk and dissect our emotions, not just a one way download. Six degrees is it?

Poor service (part 2)

I went to a physiocist, a Pinoy at that, and we didn't even speak a single tagalog word, awkward.  I would have said, bakit ba ang sakit, take the pain away will you.  Anyway, I didn't even attempt, he could have been mistaken for a Chinese guy, but the lozhic (logic) is definitely Pinoy.  The way I deal with these professionals is almost here's my arm, it hurts like crazy and impedes my movement, now makit it go away.  NO, he has to present the choices and give me examples and awaits my decision.  Of course, I opted for the quick fix, an injection, later on I will have to go into therapy and limit my my mousing and keyboarding acitivities.  At worse, I will have to find alternative means of making moolah..

 Oh well, after the doctors appt., it was almost lunch time, I saw a sign that says Oakland grill, I followed the sign and it took me to an almost seedy side of town, where the produce and flowers wholesale district. As I entered the place, I said I will order to go, just want something grilled and easy.  After I ordered, I was looking for a chair to park my rear when somebody said hello.  Okay that's weird I wouldn't know anybody here, this is a little far from my hood.  Who could it be but the person who botched my delivery a couple of posts ago.  It turned out that this restaurant is the owned by the brother who half owns the cafe where I had breakfast catered.  Anyway, so as I was paying, the owner, said he heard about what happened and he talked to his dad, he said my money is not good in his place. They had to recompense me for that stress..

The food is not that great, but how can I complain, they took it away from me because I didn't pay for it.  Oh well, having missed breakfast that day, I'd say it had to hit the spot..

The responsibilities of my existence..

 This has been circulating for a while, makes sense

When I was little, I use to believe in the concept of one best friend, and then I started to become a woman. And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up, God will show you the best in many friends. One friend's best is needed when you're going through things with your man. Another friend's best is needed when you're going through things with your momma.

Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be. One friend will say let's pray together, another let's cry together, another let's fight together, another let's walk away together...

One friend will meet your spiritual need, another your shoe fetish, another your love for movies, another will be with you in your season of confusion, another will be your clarifier, another the wind beneath your wings...

But whatever their assignment in your life, on whatever the occasion, on whatever the day, or where ever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself... those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman, but for many it's wrapped up in several... one from 7th grade, one from high school, several from the college years, a couple from old jobs, several from church, on some days your mother, on others your sisters, and on some days it's the one that you needed just for that day or week that you needed someone with a fresh perspective, or the one who didn't know all your baggage, or the one who would just listen without judging.. those are good girlfriends/best friends.

Men are wonderful, husbands are excellent, boyfriends are awesome, male friends are priceless... but if you've ever had a real good girlfriend, then you know there's nothing like her! I thank God for girlfriends, those who honor intimacy, those who hold trust, and those who just got you back when you feel like life is just too heavy!

Poor service..

Twenty-eight percent of my job is administrative, the rest is billable, so I arrange catered meetings, my joy really. I recently coordinated a pay-day social and used a cafe that we usually go to for Sunday brunch. The day before the event everything was arranged, the delivery person went to the wrong address and when she finally figured out the correct address, she didn't have the complete order. Meanwhile, I had a roomfull of hungry people waiting. Pretty frustrating. 

Talking with the restaurant owner later, he offered to shave off a certain percentage off the bill or offered to take care of me when I visit his restaurant, I told him I'm not interested, just said that I hope he understands that I will not do business with him again. He keeps on persisting, saying he had to make me feel better with all the stress he caused. I was adamant, then he said but he persisted and later said make him feel better. 

Hah! Where has good service gone to.

New theme.. Again??

Yeah, yeah.. you can tell I am bored with my themes, I am planning to create my own theme, just don't have the time to do it. 

I have been reading food and photography blogs, pretty amazing.  There are talents out there. Also, there are Pinoys who are great.  Truly impressive.

---press, rootword...

Oppress - burden spiritually and mentall

Suppress - to exclude from consciousness

Depress - cause to sink to our lower level; dejection

Repress - to exclude from consciousness

You probably thought of iron, bench press, or meat press. Press in the tone of human suffering is more the subject of this post. From oppression to depression, all these are limiting to one's being, to one's dignified existence.  I was once asked if iI think that oppression exists in a democratic society. I responded in the affirmative society, poverty, and beliefs, to name a few, can be oppressive.

The reason for this post, some of these press words, we encourage. Sometimes, peer pressure or just the way we put ourselves in a box creates that "press" presence. On another hand an oppression through power and money can an external application, where the spirit can remain intact, despite the attack. How? I believe the mind and emotions can deter those attacks with Lordy's help, of course.